I sent it everywhere I could find an address.\u00a0 I had some printed material that I\u2019d prepared explaining what the show was.\u00a0 I thought it was fine.<\/p>\n
Of course, no one responded.\u00a0 Not one.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t even say that they didn\u2019t like the show.\u00a0 I then discovered a fundamental truth of life (although I knew it before, it was really hammered home):<\/p>\n
People will flock around to tell you what’s wrong with a failed project, but while you\u2019re working on it, they say nothing.<\/p>\n
My friends agreed that I\u2019d screwed up by not having a slick cover color folder for the show.\u00a0 Then the consensus was that no one would read all the material I sent, so it needed to be cut down.<\/p>\n
But then the last part was that I needed to spiff it up with ART!\u00a0 I was told that I needed to push the idea that we\u2019re dealing with classic film!\u00a0 Emphasize the characters!\u00a0 Emphasize the interaction!\u00a0 In the show, they\u2019re never in the same shot!\u00a0 Have them together!<\/p>\n
Wow.\u00a0 All great ideas.\u00a0 I\u2019d never thought of them.\u00a0 Of course, no one thought to tell me this before I sent all the material to all the TV stations.<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t hire an artist.\u00a0 Artists need to eat three times a day, so they can\u2019t work for free.\u00a0 And since I didn\u2019t have any money to give them, hiring an artist was out, out, out.<\/p>\n
OK, that\u2019s fine, say I.\u00a0 I have some experience in this.\u00a0 I may not be the greatest artist in the world, but I think I can get the job done.\u00a0 Hmm, the show\u2019s characters interacting.\u00a0 In the same shot.\u00a0 Emphasizing film.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s another problem. In the show, Dr. Film and Anamorphia never are in the same shot for very practical reasons: a) I only had one camera and b) Anamorphia is an elaborate (not digital) special effect.\u00a0 Dr. Film isn\u2019t a special effect at all, and so they can\u2019t be in the same shot together.<\/p>\n
I got an inspired idea.\u00a0 Anamorphia is so named because she\u2019s anamorphic: she\u2019s squeezed horizontally, like someone who survived an Edgar Allan Poe torture, unlike Glory, who plays her.\u00a0 Just for one shot, I knew I could get them together, but only if I lined them up just right.<\/p>\n
I’d give Glory an extra large reel of 35mm film, with a diameter twice as large as a regular reel. \u00a0Then, I’d shoot her dead on straight ahead, and I\u2019d be standing next to her.\u00a0 The math would work out so I could squeeze her in a photo program and it would make the wide reel look like a regular one!<\/p>\n
How would they interact?\u00a0 Well, in the show, the characters are always bickering about how long-winded and boring he is about film.\u00a0 She\u2019s gotten frustrated with his verbose habits and wraps him in the film he\u2019s been talking about too much. He\u2019s angry, she\u2019s angry, that\u2019s consistent, PERFECT.<\/p>\n
By this time, it had been over a year since we\u2019d shot the show.\u00a0 But that\u2019s OK, we thought, no one saw it in the first place, so we can still send it out with the new slick paper brochure!\u00a0 I needed help, because I couldn\u2019t shoot it myself: I\u2019m actually in the shot.\u00a0 I talked to my sister about it.<\/p>\n
ACK. Glory is shorter than I am, and my sister is shorter than I am.\u00a0 My sister had the idea of shooting outside to make sure we could get lots of light.\u00a0 That made harsh unflattering shadows, but there was a worse problem.\u00a0 Due to the widely varying heights, nothing lined up, and I looked like a giant slug being wound up by a tiny silkworm.\u00a0 It was ridiculous.<\/p>\n
Glory complained that the reel I\u2019d found for her was actually full of real film!\u00a0 This was a problem because a 3000\u2019 reel with film on it is heavy, and she had to hold it very still, and straight horizontally, to get the shots.\u00a0 Not a good idea.\u00a0 She was pretty sore by the end of the shoot, and I don\u2019t blame her.\u00a0 Especially since the pictures were utterly unusable.<\/p>\n
Upon reflection, I remembered that Glory (a historian) had just written a National Register nomination for a building with a large stage.\u00a0 If we could use it, then we could stand on the stage, and have a photographer stand on the main floor, thereby solving the height issues.<\/p>\n
I also decided I\u2019d be seated, which helped equalize the height differential.\u00a0 I found an empty reel, and that made it a little easier for her.\u00a0 The building owners allowed us to use the stage for a few hours.\u00a0 I brought in lights, tripods, everything.<\/p>\n
It was HOT!\u00a0 The lights were in my face all the time, and I was wrapped in disintegrating film.\u00a0 I used a vinegary print of From Russia With Love <\/em>so I wouldn\u2019t ruin good film!\u00a0 It smelled terrible, and as I was sweating, it dripped dye on me.\u00a0 Wonderful.<\/p>\n We spent about 2 hours shooting.\u00a0 My friend Greg shot the pictures this time.\u00a0 (My sister couldn\u2019t get off work!)\u00a0 Greg tried really hard, but 99% of the pictures were junk.\u00a0 There was one picture in the whole bunch that looked OK.\u00a0 It was very dark, even with all the light we had pouring on us.\u00a0 It was just a hard picture to shoot.<\/p>\n I’m not going to show all the raw pictures, because I’d had Glory stand closer to the camera (to keep me from overwhelming the shot). \u00a0This caused some focus issues and makes her look unusually large in the raw image.<\/p>\n I worked on equalizing the exposure and applied the anamorphic factor, and got\u00a0this:<\/p>\n Suddenly, voila<\/em>, we have art!\u00a0 Dr. Film and Anamorphia in the same shot!\u00a0 I used the picture for the new brochure and spruced it up.\u00a0 I thought it looked pretty good.\u00a0 We ran it by some design people.\u00a0 They liked it.\u00a0 I cut the text down to 8 pages, with lots of color pictures.<\/p>\n Guess what?\u00a0 This will surprise you.\u00a0 No response.\u00a0 Apparently no one even bothered to look at it.<\/p>\n Discouraged?\u00a0 You bet.\u00a0 I was about ready to give up on the project.\u00a0 We\u2019d thrown time and money at it, and no one cared at all.\u00a0 We weren\u2019t even interesting enough to warrant a polite, \u201cHEY! Buzz off, willya?\u201d<\/p>\n But Dr. Film <\/em>also seems to be The Project That Never Dies<\/em>.\u00a0 There are always a few people who have been unfailingly encouraging, to the point that some people are in my face saying, \u201cIt\u2019s a great idea!\u00a0 Don\u2019t give up on this show!\u201d\u00a0 (I\u2019ve never actually been sure why this is, but it seems to be.\u00a0 Most of the rest of the world looks at Dr. Film <\/em>with a cold indifference.)<\/p>\n I installed a blog on the web page, the one you\u2019re reading now, updated the site, and went from there.\u00a0 The blog, as you can see, has been a rip-roaring success, attracting email from Viagra shippers the world over.\u00a0 With no real web traffic and only a tepid response to the blog, I was ready to shut the project down again.<\/p>\n Several others suggested that Dr. Film <\/em>was too long.\u00a0 The feeling was that we needed cut it down and make it in 30 minutes, based on the attention span of modern audiences.\u00a0 This is where I draw the line.\u00a0 I have a two-fold argument with this: a) there are so many interesting movies out there that don\u2019t get shown that I hate to CUT them to something shorter.\u00a0 b) A 30-minute show is actually more work <\/em>than a two-hour show!\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Well, I have to go through more material, cherry-pick, and edit.\u00a0 More narration to explain what\u2019s missing.\u00a0 More shooting.\u00a0 More work.<\/p>\n The whole idea of Dr. Film <\/em>has always been to make an economical show that appeals to an admittedly small demographic.\u00a0 Since a 30-minute show means more time, it also means I\u2019d have to charge more money, which I think is more of an impediment than the difficulty in clearing a two-hour slot.<\/p>\n Glory and I talked to publicity people and they told us that there was probably no hope for Dr. Film <\/em>since no one responded.\u00a0 Once again, I was ready to shut the project down and move on to other things.<\/p>\n Remember I said Dr. Film <\/em>just never seems to die?\u00a0 Well, I had an idea.\u00a0 You see, I don\u2019t believe anyone who matters has ever watched the show and given it any sort of chance.\u00a0 \u00a0 I have a feeling that it\u2019s off the beaten path, consequently under the radar.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it mattered what sort of picture we had.<\/p>\n I realize that Dr. Film <\/em>is an unconventional project.\u00a0 I know that there is a niche market, but we have to reach it.\u00a0 My idea was to draw upon on word-of-mouth support and an internet community.\u00a0 If we have a vibrant Facebook group, a bunch of advocates for the show, a successful blog, then people have<\/em> to notice it.\u00a0 Someone floated the idea that \u201cSupport Dr. Film!\u201d t-shirts would be a great idea.\u00a0 A way to build the community feeling.<\/p>\n That\u2019s fine, I thought!\u00a0 I\u2019ve got art for shirts!\u00a0 We\u2019re set!\u00a0 I\u2019d designed a shirt for a convention showing, and I still had the files!<\/p>\n Then, just as I was ready to submit the design, a couple of people, all generally supporters of the show, told me how much they hated the shirt.<\/p>\n WHAT?<\/p>\n They hated that same picture I\u2019d literally sweat over for hours.\u00a0 And hate was the word.\u00a0 It was repulsive.\u00a0 One guy told me he\u2019d never wear the shirt because it looked like a bondage scene to him.<\/p>\n I have to tell you that I never thought of this.\u00a0 Knowing the characters, and knowing that there is not a spark of anything between them, it never occurred to me.\u00a0 Not once.<\/p>\n OK, so what should we have instead?\u00a0 This is where I get frustrated.\u00a0 Once again, people can\u2019t seem to tell you what they like.\u00a0 It\u2019s the old joke, \u201cI don\u2019t know much about art, but I know what I like!\u201d<\/p>\n Some ideas were in direct contradiction to other ones.\u00a0 I wanted to scream.\u00a0 Actually, I did <\/em>scream.\u00a0 I thought we were about done, and suddenly, I was back at square one.\u00a0 I often marvel about how I\u2019ve come this far on Dr. Film<\/em> with nothing to show for it!<\/p>\n Ernie Kovacs once called Edie Adams and told her that the show opening wasn\u2019t working, and he didn\u2019t know why.\u00a0 He was joking about being tired and working overtime.\u00a0 Edie told him that the audience didn\u2019t care how tired they were or how hard they worked.\u00a0 They only cared whether the show was funny or not.<\/p>\n Edie was right. It makes no difference how we got to the t-shirt design and how we took The Picture That No One Likes!\u00a0 <\/em>It only matters that we came up with a design that people seem to like.\u00a0 On the other hand, it\u2019s a great story and it makes a great blog entry!<\/p>\n You note I\u2019ve not spoken about what I thought personally?\u00a0 Well, I don\u2019t like the new design (even though I did it.)\u00a0 I like the other one better.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think there\u2019s enough art in this one.<\/p>\n But, clearly, I have no idea what I\u2019m talking about!<\/p>\n PS: I haven’t had a chance to take redo the art for the brochure, so you can still see it here<\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019m bad at marketing.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be the first person to tell you that.\u00a0 I can fix your computer, but I couldn\u2019t convince you to buy one.\u00a0 Some people are just built that way. When I shot the pilot episode for Dr. Film, I thought that people would be jazzed about it, that they\u2019d put it … Continue reading “Taking the Picture No One Likes”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"powered_cache_disable_cache":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,207],"tags":[50,25,96,49],"class_list":["post-247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-background-on-the-blog","category-film","tag-background","tag-dr-film","tag-pilot","tag-tv-show"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=247"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1925,"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions\/1925"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.drfilm.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/pic.png\" "\\"pic\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n